T. Rigney (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} filmfiend) wrote,@ 2006-03-19 15:03:00 |
|
Exit Wounds
It could be Seagal's best film to date. Seriously.
---
During my journey through the land of Seagal, I've learned several things about the big guy that hardcore fans have known all along. First off, Steven will beat you down without hesitation if you decide to cross him. Secondly, Steven will beat you down if you're a criminal, regardless of how deep into the game you are. And, lastly, if you decide to fight back against Steven, chances are you're not going to land a single blow...and then, of course, he will beat you down, possibly breaking several bones in the process. Those are standard rules. Learn them, live them, love them. If you choose not to learn these rules, chances are Seagal will hunt you down and break your legs. Hey, don't complain to me. I don't make the rules.
Anyway, you can pretty much forget everything you've learned about our favorite chunk of aikido wizardry when you sit down with Exit Wounds, a bizarre little number that pretty much breaks every rule in the Seagal Handbook. Watch in amazement as Seagal is kicked around, tossed around, punched, shot, and handcuffed to the inside of a moving van! Sure, he ultimately gets the upper hand and delivers a massive amount of damage, but it's interesting to see someone get the better of ol' Steven for a change. I mean, for the past six or seven of his movies I've watched recently, I pretty much thought he was the second coming of Christ or something, dodging blows and bullets in a manner that would make Keanu green with envy. Needless to say, watching Seagal take a beating does not alone make a good movie, so let's delve a bit deeper into what I consider to be the big guy's best movie, hands down. No joke. I wouldn't do that to you.
Seagal plays Orin Boyd, a rogue detective who always -- repeat ALWAYS -- plays by his own rules. Imagine that. Anyway, after rescuing the Vice President from a terrorist attack using very unorthodox methods, he's promptly demoted(!) and sent to the ghetto as a beat cop. Of course, Seagal doesn't care about things like rank, rules, and regulations, so he begins his own investigation into what could be the city's biggest heroin transaction in decades. Naturally, it involves lots of muscular thugs and an endless array of witty banter, not to mention a handful of people who refuse to believe what Seagal has discovered. Aikido, martial arts, and mild humor ensue. Hey, at least it's better than The Patriot, right?
Seagal playing a mere mortal is actually a nice change of pace from his usual brand of Supercop hibble-hobble. More often than not, Seagal can't shoot for shit, missing several bad guys during a car chase that would normally end quite abruptly with our beefy hero planting bullets in each of his enemies' skulls with the greatest of ease. During several of the film's wonky fight scenes, Seagal is beaten, bruised, and refused, though he always manages to snap back just in the nick of time. Granted, it's not much of a stretch, but it is nice to see the events unfold in such an unusual way. I should also mention that Joel Silver and his production lackeys required Seagal to drop a good 30 to 40 pounds for the role, and he definitely looks better for it. Perhaps ol' Steven should listen to producers more often. You know, the ones who aren't constantly kissing his anus.
Everyone else in the movie is serviceable, I suppose, though they're really not very entertaining. DMX gets by on his gangsta image alone, while Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson attempt to lighten the tone a bit with some lame comic relief which often results in me wanting to see them die horribly in a variety of different ways. Jill Hennessy also shows up to play Seagal's boss, though her role is purely cosmetic, since her character is both meaningless and stereotypical. We do get Bill Duke kicking a little corrupt cop ass, something that's always welcomed. Isaiah Washington and Michael Jai White also have minor roles, though this is really Seagal's show. We wouldn't want anyone upstaging the big guy, would we? Of course not! Don't be silly!
Andrzej Bartkowiak is a director I've grown to appreciate, though he's really not that great at storytelling. This isn't necessarily surprising, since his background is in cinematography. His films always look sharp, crisp, colorful, and feature lots of interesting shots and angles, though he does rely a bit too heavily on wire work for my tastes. Wire-fu has its place, mind you, but watching Seagal flip and spin and twirl and flail is a little silly, to say the least. I didn't buy it in Belly of the Beast and I sure as hell don't buy it here. Oh, and by the way, at least make an honest attempt to hide the fact that your star isn't the guy driving the motorcycle. I mean...damn.
At the end of the day, Exit Wounds was a satisfying meal that will probably cause massive weight gain and lots of guilt. LOTS of guilt. But it's a solid action picture, featuring The Big Untouchable One as an actual flesh-and-blood human being. It has its share of problems, of course, but it was a step in the right direction for Mr. Seagal. Unfortunately for the man we all love to hate, he fell back on bad habits for his subsequent releases, delivering one-note performances in roles that require no effort whatsoever. It's a shame, really, because I think Seagal has the potential for a comeback, if only he'd smarten up just a tad.
Until then, I weep for his career.
It could be Seagal's best film to date. Seriously.
---
During my journey through the land of Seagal, I've learned several things about the big guy that hardcore fans have known all along. First off, Steven will beat you down without hesitation if you decide to cross him. Secondly, Steven will beat you down if you're a criminal, regardless of how deep into the game you are. And, lastly, if you decide to fight back against Steven, chances are you're not going to land a single blow...and then, of course, he will beat you down, possibly breaking several bones in the process. Those are standard rules. Learn them, live them, love them. If you choose not to learn these rules, chances are Seagal will hunt you down and break your legs. Hey, don't complain to me. I don't make the rules.
Anyway, you can pretty much forget everything you've learned about our favorite chunk of aikido wizardry when you sit down with Exit Wounds, a bizarre little number that pretty much breaks every rule in the Seagal Handbook. Watch in amazement as Seagal is kicked around, tossed around, punched, shot, and handcuffed to the inside of a moving van! Sure, he ultimately gets the upper hand and delivers a massive amount of damage, but it's interesting to see someone get the better of ol' Steven for a change. I mean, for the past six or seven of his movies I've watched recently, I pretty much thought he was the second coming of Christ or something, dodging blows and bullets in a manner that would make Keanu green with envy. Needless to say, watching Seagal take a beating does not alone make a good movie, so let's delve a bit deeper into what I consider to be the big guy's best movie, hands down. No joke. I wouldn't do that to you.
Seagal plays Orin Boyd, a rogue detective who always -- repeat ALWAYS -- plays by his own rules. Imagine that. Anyway, after rescuing the Vice President from a terrorist attack using very unorthodox methods, he's promptly demoted(!) and sent to the ghetto as a beat cop. Of course, Seagal doesn't care about things like rank, rules, and regulations, so he begins his own investigation into what could be the city's biggest heroin transaction in decades. Naturally, it involves lots of muscular thugs and an endless array of witty banter, not to mention a handful of people who refuse to believe what Seagal has discovered. Aikido, martial arts, and mild humor ensue. Hey, at least it's better than The Patriot, right?
Seagal playing a mere mortal is actually a nice change of pace from his usual brand of Supercop hibble-hobble. More often than not, Seagal can't shoot for shit, missing several bad guys during a car chase that would normally end quite abruptly with our beefy hero planting bullets in each of his enemies' skulls with the greatest of ease. During several of the film's wonky fight scenes, Seagal is beaten, bruised, and refused, though he always manages to snap back just in the nick of time. Granted, it's not much of a stretch, but it is nice to see the events unfold in such an unusual way. I should also mention that Joel Silver and his production lackeys required Seagal to drop a good 30 to 40 pounds for the role, and he definitely looks better for it. Perhaps ol' Steven should listen to producers more often. You know, the ones who aren't constantly kissing his anus.
Everyone else in the movie is serviceable, I suppose, though they're really not very entertaining. DMX gets by on his gangsta image alone, while Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson attempt to lighten the tone a bit with some lame comic relief which often results in me wanting to see them die horribly in a variety of different ways. Jill Hennessy also shows up to play Seagal's boss, though her role is purely cosmetic, since her character is both meaningless and stereotypical. We do get Bill Duke kicking a little corrupt cop ass, something that's always welcomed. Isaiah Washington and Michael Jai White also have minor roles, though this is really Seagal's show. We wouldn't want anyone upstaging the big guy, would we? Of course not! Don't be silly!
Andrzej Bartkowiak is a director I've grown to appreciate, though he's really not that great at storytelling. This isn't necessarily surprising, since his background is in cinematography. His films always look sharp, crisp, colorful, and feature lots of interesting shots and angles, though he does rely a bit too heavily on wire work for my tastes. Wire-fu has its place, mind you, but watching Seagal flip and spin and twirl and flail is a little silly, to say the least. I didn't buy it in Belly of the Beast and I sure as hell don't buy it here. Oh, and by the way, at least make an honest attempt to hide the fact that your star isn't the guy driving the motorcycle. I mean...damn.
At the end of the day, Exit Wounds was a satisfying meal that will probably cause massive weight gain and lots of guilt. LOTS of guilt. But it's a solid action picture, featuring The Big Untouchable One as an actual flesh-and-blood human being. It has its share of problems, of course, but it was a step in the right direction for Mr. Seagal. Unfortunately for the man we all love to hate, he fell back on bad habits for his subsequent releases, delivering one-note performances in roles that require no effort whatsoever. It's a shame, really, because I think Seagal has the potential for a comeback, if only he'd smarten up just a tad.
Until then, I weep for his career.
